Joanne's secret weapon
by PrettyGreen
Summary: Joanne gets a little creative in the kitchen in an attempt to stop Maureen from flirting on her night out. Will it work? Oneshot.


**A/N: I got this idea from 'Two pints of larger and a packet of crisps' (Television show in the Uk.  
A/N: Also, for those who are reading 'How Maureen And Joanne Met' Chapter 12 will be up soon. Sorry!**

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Joanne gets a little creative in the kitchen in an attempt to stop Maureen from flirting on her night out. Will it work?

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**Joanne's Secret Weapon.**

'Maureen?' Joanne shouted into the bedroom. She then turned back to her task of laying her and Maureen's food out on the plates infront of her.

'Yehh?' Maureen responded innocently.

'Your tea!' Joanne then began to take the food over to the table. She placed it down and waited for Maureen to emerge from the bedroom.

'Coming pookie, just give me two minutes and i'll be there ...'

Joanne rolled her eyes knowing that two minutes of Maureen's time was a good half and hour of actual time. With that knowledge Joanne stood up and placed Maureen's food in the oven to keep it warm. She was not about to start cooking again once Maureen had decided she was going to appear.

As predicted, half and hour later Maureen strolled out of the bedroom. She made her way over to where the dining table was. By this time Joanne had finished her tea and was now getting up to clear away her dishes. Maureen took a seat and looked at the empty table.

'Ummm pookie?' Maureen asked, while her eyes scanned the table time and time again in search of food.

'Yehh?'

'I know this is going to sound dumb, but shouldnt there be food infront of me right now?' Maureen's eyes scanned the table once again, hoping that food would somehow jump out at her and shout _'Here i am, look at me, eat me!'_

'Well, you did say you'd be two minutes ... so after 10 minutes passed and there was no sign of you i had to put your tea in the bin. Sorry honey'

Maureen's mouth dropped open.

'You did what?!' Maureen couldn't believe what she was hearing. Joanne wouldnt do that, would she?

'I put it in the bin, it was a waste of food. You'd be complaining if i would had left it there and you would of had to eat cold food' Joanne fought back her smile.

Maureen sat there. Still. Shocked.

'I - but my - no - Joanne, honestly? - I mean no, you wouldn't, COULDN'T do that to me. - I mean come on!' Maureen stumbled over her words.

Joanne made her way over to the oven where Maureen's food sat. She glanced back over to Maureen who still had the same shell-shocked look on her face, which Joanne found amuseing.

'No of course i wouldn't honey' Joanne finaly admited with a warm smile spread across her face.

Maureen's face lit up. Food!

'Oh YEY!' Was all Maureen managed before she began to dig into her food.

Meanwhile, Joanne began to wash the dishes she had used to make the tea. Whilst she was doing so, Joanne noticed something. Something important.

'Shit the garlic!' Joanne mumbled to herself. Quickly looking around to Maureen to see if she had heard her or or even worse had noticed the garlic resting on the side. No, Maureen's attention was still 100 fixed on the food that lay infront of her. _Phew_!. Joanne dived across the kitchen and snatched the garlic from off the side and threw it in the bin before Maureen even had a chance to swallow her next mouthful of food.

Joanne finished cleaning up the dishes and looked over to Maureen who was now just finishing her own plate. No intention of cleaning it herself.

'Pookie?' Maureen asked, whilst leaning back in her chair.

'Huh ... ' Joanne responded whilst taking the plate from infront of Maureen and begining to wash it.

'Did you put something different in that tonight?'

Joanne dropped the plate in the sink. Good job it was in water, or Joanne was sure she would be cleaning up broken China for the next hour. Joanne knew perfectly that there was something different in the food. But she wasn't going to tell Maureen. It was her little secret.

'No honeybear, just the same old stuff as i normaly put in' Joanne replied whilst giving Maureen a beautiful smile and hoping that Maureen wouldn't press the issue further.

'Oh ok' Maureen chirped before standing up and heading back into the bedroom.

Joanne breathed a sigh of relief. Her secret was safe.

'The tea was beautiful by the way ... ' Maureen added from within the bedroom while Joanne made her way over to the sofa.

'Thank you sweetie'

'Just like you' Maureen added. Joanne couldn't help but let a huge smile creep across her face.

Joanne was flicking through channel after channel when Maureen returned from the bedroom once more. Coat on and ready for a night out.

'Give me a kiss pookie, im off' Maureen leaned down towards Joanne, who responded by leaning up to Maureen. Lips met and Joanne tasted what she needed to taste. As Maureen pulled away, Joanne also smelt what she needed to smell.

'Bye baby!' Maureen skipped towards the door.

'Bye honey, be careful! Have fun!' Joanne watched as Maureen closed the door behind her. Joanne sat there on the sofa. A smile lingered on her lips. Garlic. What a beautiful thing.

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12.00am. The door to the apartment shut and Maureen dropped her coat and bag and made her way into the bedroom. Greeted by a working Joanne, Maureen got changed into her PJ's and climbed into bed and clung on Joanne's waist.

'Nice time honey?' Joanne asked, not letting her eyes leave the page she was working on.

'Yeh ... just perfect!' Maureen bluntness was clear.

Joanne placed down her pen, put her papers on the floor and turned her full attention to her girlfriend. She knew what was coming next.

'What happened?' Joanne shuffled about abit inorder to try and make Maureen and herself more comfy.

'Nothing. Its dumb' Maureen mumbled as she brung the duvet to her mouth.

'Maureen ... ' Joanne removed the duvet. They were clean on and she didn't was drool on them. 'Tell me ...' Joanne urged.

'Well ... you know how when i go out - through no fault of my own! might i add - i get people flirting with me?' Maureen began.

Joanne just simply rolled her eyes. Even though she knew Maureen was just as bad for flirting with others as they are with her, she wasn't going to argue this time. She gestured for Maureen to continue.

'Well tonight it was different - nobody even spoke to me! It was so weird. Its like i had a sign on me saying 'DONT TALK TO ME' - it made me feel bad' Maureen put on a huge pout. Joanne's heart melted.

Joanne pulled Maureen closer. She felt bad but at the same time she was glad her plan worked. Now she just wanted to hold the one she loved in her arms.

'Well, honey. If it makes you feel better. Ill flirt with you right now?' Joanne tried to lighten to mood.

Maureen let out a small giggle.

'Thanks pookie - you know, after how bad tonight was. Im just glad i can come home to you'

Joanne's face became one huge smile. It wasn't often Maureen was like this. She had to savour every moment.

'And im glad you come home to me everynight' Joanne added.

Maureen felt secure when she was with Joanne. Sure, flirting was fun, but no-one made her feel the way Joanne did. And Maureen doubted that no-one else ever could.

'Pookie?

'Huh?'

'As wonderul as it is lying here with you, do you think you could turn the lights off now? Im getting kind of tired' Maureen wrapped her arms tightly around Joanne and lay her head on her shoulder.

'Only if you promise to lay here with me in the dark' Joanne added, smiling.

'Promise ... Now, lights please!'

The lights went off and Maureen and Joanne lay together in the dark. Joanne lay thinking about how much she loved Maureen, how happy she felt knowing that even though Maureen did flirt, she would always come home to her and lay in her bed with her every night. Maureen lay thinking about why no-one would flirt with her, was it her new perfume?

**Fin.**

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**_Thanks for reading! :D _**

**_I kind of like this one. I like the idea of Joanne putting garlic in Maureen food in an attempt to stop her flirting. Must be love, love, love.  
Sorry about the soppy ending. Ive been watching romantic movies. It rubs off on you. :)  
Feel free to review. They are always welcome and appreciated. :D (Sorry for any spelling mistakes etc. I have to use notebook sadly)_**


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